Sunday, 13 March 2016

On This Day Facts - 13th March

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY MARCH 13th
 
On This Day in 1809, King Gustav IV Adolf of Sweden wet his bed after having one of the weirdest dreams of his life.
 
It all started when Lieutenant Colonel Georg (without an "e") Adlersparre decided he wanted to rebel against the King of Sweden, who was too busy putting up flat-pack furniture to run the kingdom properly.
 
The king got wind of the rebellion initiated by Georg-No-E and had plans to holiday in the Caribbean. He changed those plans on advice from Donald Trump who thought he should grab an army and fight back.
 
The King and Donald-He-Is-A-Friend-Of-Mine-Trump arranged to travel to Scania to meet up with loyal troops with really big guns. Guns, shooty-shooty guns. Bang bang. Guns Guns.
 
Unfortunately the king made arrangements for travel a day too late. He went to sleep, content he'd be with some hunky soldiers with massive guns the following day.
 
During the night, he was kidnapped whilst he slept, along with his family, and imprisoned in a castle, in a coup d'├ętat. Donald Trump was not captured or imprisoned, though.
 
King-No-More Gustav IV of Sweden was persuaded to give up his throne in order to preserve it for his son. He abdicated in the knowledge that the people only hated him and Donald Trump, and not his son.
 
Once gone, there would be a small transitional period and then his son would be king.
 
Donald Trump, behind the scenes, decided to stab his friend-everyone-is-my-friend in the back. He had arranged with the help of the king's uncle, the Duke Charles, to appoint a provisional government and proclaim the revolution approved.
 
The provisional government declared de-King'd Gustav had not only forfeited his right to rule through his abdication, but had given up his right to be friends with Donald-It's-Not-A-Wig.
 
This also meant that Gustav's son would not inherit the throne.
 
Donald-You've-Been-Trumped inserted Duke Charles on the throne and he became King Charles XIII. Gustav and his family were then exiled to Germany, where he shacked up in a hotel after divorcing his wife, and then spent the rest of his life watching re-runs of The Apprentice.
 
Also On This Day In History
On This Day in 1639, John Harvard loaned the use of his name to the now infamous Harvard College, America's oldest higher learning institution.
 
On This Day in 1781, William Hershel discovered Uranus, which is why you should never bend over when he is around.
 
On This Day in 1881, Alexander II of Russia was assassinated, after the millionth attempt.
 
Don't forget to check out:
 
On This Day in 1897, San Diego State University is founded.
 
On This Day in 1930, the Harvard College Observatory received a telegraph notifying it of the news that the planet Pluto had been discovered.
 
It then received a second telegram from Donald Trump telling them it wasn't a planet, it's not American, therefore it isn't a planet, I'm going to ruin your childhood and ruin your children's childhoods, too.
 
A wall should be built so that all those Plutomians, who don't really contribute to the American way of life, don't get into America. Shoot them. Shoot them all. Gun them. Trump then said, "But, you know, I have friends who are Plutomians and they agree with me."

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